like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
