he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
