I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
