i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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