oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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