So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
