Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize