I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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