You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
