i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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