You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
