hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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