ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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