It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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