I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
