I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
