I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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