I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
