i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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