Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
