He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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