a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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