Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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