when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
