doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
