But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I cockslap morals
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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