it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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