Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
