I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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