So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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