My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
