Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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