In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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