last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
