I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
