Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
