When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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