I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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