oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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