I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
