I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
