piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
