Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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