Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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