idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
