We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
