I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he fucked my hip out of place.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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