she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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