nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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