i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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