capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
