Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
