Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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