I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
