I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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