im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
