This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
