I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize