last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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