plz talk dirty to me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Randomize
