Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
