we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
no you cant smoke seaweed
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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