Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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