what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
